For a young woman, being single and/or dating around seems to be a trending topic right now (…and be careful ladies… it can be a contagious epidemic!! 😛 ) but for real – what with inspirational women such as Arianna Grande and Taylor Swift calling the media out, for the pressure they seem to put on us ladies, with their #sisterhood tweets… and all the other feminist leaders coming out the woodwork over the past few years – I’m really starting to wonder if perceptions and opinions may be changing for the better for us ladies…
I’ve been single/dating for a while now, and the main reason?! I choose to be. Now, don’t get me wrong… I may see an ex, for 5 minutes, every so often; start to remind myself of the good times or miss the love we once shared, only to end up feeling lonely and panicky that I’ll never find the one for me… I’m only human after all – but, for the most part, I am confident and secure that, when I feel ready, the partner of my dreams will show up and we’ll skip off into the sunset together, happily ever after!! 😛 I wanted to write this blog to let other women know that it’s ok to be single/dating around (and maybe to remind myself of my reasons when I am starting to feel those inevitable lonely times). Throughout my singledom, I’ve often felt the need to date again due to societal pressures – however, in the process of experimenting with this, I’ve realised I have a pattern of continuing to go for emotionally unavailable men… I realise now, that this is because I actually WANT to be single, and literally just get to know a few guys, until I find the RIGHT person!
So, without further ado… here are MY reasons for being single:
1. Figuring out what I actually want in a man – truth is, in the past, I’ve often had conflicting views about what I actually want from a man. Rather than getting with a whole bunch of people just because
I’m a woman stud others keep asking me why I’m single, then realising later that we’re not actually compatible and breaking hearts, I’d personally rather just take a hiatus for a short while.
2. Bettering myself – If I expect certain standards from my man, then, I believe I should expect the same sort of standard from myself – I basically want to focus on myself spiritually, mentally and emotionally to ensure that I’m also the kind of person my dream guy would want to be with. I want to…
- know what I want.
- have already worked through my past issues, relating to love, so I don’t project those issues into any new relationships.
- have figured out what I want to do with my life so I can be self reliant and not have to rely on a man to keep me fed/a roof over my head.
- make improvements to the way I communicate so I can be better understood by my future partner when going through the inevitable rough patches.
- have an insight into how relationships/love work so I can at least attempt to avoid the mistakes I’ve made in the past or I’ve seen others around me make.
3. Freedom – I love having the freedom to do as I like, when I like – without feeling guilty or having to answer to someone else. Two of the best years of my life have been when I was single, travelling and following my dreams without having to worry about whether my guy would accept my decision to do those things. …I mean, I found it really, pretty difficult to even commit to my current job… and I don’t even have to sleep with that!!! 😛
4. Experimentation – Let’s be honest… we all did it throughout high school, dating and kissing a few frogs before we found something we wanted for a bit more long-term. So why is it so different now we’re in our 20’s/30’s?! Is it because more people assume you’re sleeping with the guys you’re dating? Is it because, for older generations, women weren’t quite so equal and were expected to simply take whatever her man offered her? I, personally, like to experiment and make sure what I think I want actually matches up to my expectations, standards and boundaries. My basic needs require a certain level of love AND trust that can’t just be built intermittently – or overnight (like all those emotionally unavailable men!!). Finally, aside from things in the bedroom, my bestie gives me pretty much everything else I want from a man!! 😛 Now, don’t get me wrong… If the right man came into my life tomorrow, I’d allow the slow process of falling in love – but, until I meet him, I’m happy as I am… single. Are there any specific reasons for you that I may have missed out here? Feel free to comment below with any more great reasons for being single! Love, Magic and Fairy Dust 😉